This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
