Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
