Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
