Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
