Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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