Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
