No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just high enough for therapy.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
