you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
