Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do vagina's smell?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
