remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
