If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
