yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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