Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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