you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
