Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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