Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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