You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
3 2 1 whiskey
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
