What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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