Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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