I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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