You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
