Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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