As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
