just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
