OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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