So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
