normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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