Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
