so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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