They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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