so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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