I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
