Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
