the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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