I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
