Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
