We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
