I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
