Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
