So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
