I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
