How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
