they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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