Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
