Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
there was a trapeze. enough said
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I came so hard my ears popped.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
