You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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