The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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