ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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