After last night, I could never be a politician.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
