Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
