im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
