Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
